Happy Holidays?

All right everyone, it's that time again: The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?

Between traveling for work and family, attending various get-togethers, buying zillions of gifts, and dealing with other stressed-out people in the same boat, I would say that this is going to be... interesting?

At any rate, it's still a time of year you want to look your best, so here are some suggestions for holiday hairstyles that will outshine the Christmas lights. Well, most of them. (This is the last year... waaaaahhhh)

High Bun

Would be better without the duckface though....

Side Swept Curls

Love this! So elegant!

Beachy Waves

I miss her hair!

Sleek Ponytail

More like Slumdog BILLIONAIRE! Lol.

Have a great holiday season!!!!!

Attention Gentlemen

I'd like to take a moment to address a disturbing trend I've been noticing among the men of Chicago.  Maybe I was disillusioned during my years living in LaLaLand, but...GENTLEMEN... it's time to take a long hard look in the mirror, and ask yourself if you're REALLY taking care of... YOUR.. FACE.

Ok, maybe this is an exaggeration.

I'm been taken aback numerous times in the past 2 years, when someone I meet, whom I gauge to be my age or older, is actually at least 5 years younger me!  Now, I know I have some oily skin that ages somewhat slower than others (thanks, Proactiv!), but it's high time for men to take responsibility for their skin.

But not this guy, because he's adorable!

I'm not saying we have to go Botox and Juvederm crazy, as a little natural aging is much more attractive than plastic surgical "perfection." I for one would much rather be Brad Pitt than Jocelyn Wildenstein.  But by pampering your skin, just a little bit, you can be the best, most youthful version of yourself.  Here are some products I like:

Strivectin: It's a little on the expensive side, but it works wonders! Look for it at Nordstrom Rack for a deal!

Moisturizer: I alternate between Kiehl's, Trader Joe's, and Proactiv; there is one for every skin type. TWICE A DAY!!!

BB Cream: I love Garnier Oil-Free BB Cream, which goes on after your moisturizer during the day for additional vitamins and moisturizing, a mattifying and smoothing effect, and a tiny hint of color.

There you go, that's all you need, now get out there and start making yourself pretty-you'll thank me one day, hopefully. Oh, and here's Brad Pitt, aging gracefully:

And here is Jocelyn Wildenstein, who..... is not:

 Bye!

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For....

It's happened. It's finally happened.  The progeny from Hades, the fifth horseman of the Apocalypse has arrived... and it's name is North.  North West.  Get it?

I'm sure this baby is adorable, and it's not her fault that she's being born into the most extravagant, publicized family that money can buy.  But I really want to talk about is KIM"S POST-BABY BODY!!!!!!

Apparently she has lots of time for swimming in the pool.  Right, moms?

Kim has claimed that she has lost 50 pounds in 40 days, thanks to a strict 1,200 calorie a day diet and three hours of exercise every day.  But is this really possible?  Let's crunch the numbers:

There are 3,500 calories in a pound, this means Kim has to consume 175,000 fewer calories than she burns off. Well, let's say she only has to lose 30 pounds, since about 20 pounds of the weight gain were baby and assorted baby acoutrements.  So 30 pounds = 105,000 calorie deficit.

If she indeed stuck to her 1,200 calories a day, Kim consumed 48,000 calories in the past 40 days.  Each day she burned approximately 1,580 calories doing nothing, but add in the three hours of exercise, at approximately 400 calories an hour, and she burned 2,780 calories per day.  Grand total over 40 days: 112,000 calories.

So 48,000-112,000=64,000, or 18.29 pounds.  Could her ramped-up metabolism due to breast-feeding and baby care make up for the additional 11.71 pounds? Or maybe a quick tummy-tuck snuck in at the hospital?

Who cares? At any rate I just wonder what will become of little baby North West? Who will step up and take responsibility for this tiny bundle of joy?  Kim?  Kanye?  Kris???  God help her.

At least she'll never get lost.

Get it?  North?  West?

Ugh.

...and now for a very special episode....

It's Spring in Chicago. And we all know that really means that it's still Winter in Chicago. Don't let that sun fool you, fool. It's cold, cold, cold. (I know it could be worse but let me rant)

But lucky for me, I have a tropical vacation coming up in just a few days (YAY!!!) Of course I can't wait to let those warm tropical breezes wash over me, and lay like a lizard soaking up that gorgeous tropical sunshine.

And therein lies the problem.

As part of my "let's get healthy" kick this Winter, I decided to stop tanning. In a booth. I know, it's so 1990s of me, but just a few minutes locked in the tanning booth's warm embrace has always been an essential part of surviving Winter for me.

Just to be fair, I did indulge in self-tanners, so that after 5 months of no UV rays I'm not completely deathly pale. (My favorite: L'Oreal Sublime Bronze, available in lotion, foam, or towelettes!)

But I wouldn't exactly call my skin tan. So to prep my skin for seven days of abuse I decided to go tanning just a little, to build up a "base tan." (Is that really a thing?)

So far I've been good, with just a few moments in the booth here and there, and I am starting to notice a subtle, golden glow creeping back into my complexion. BUT....

I'm getting hooked.

Full disclosure: I went tanning yesterday. I went tanning today. AND---I fully intend to go tomorrow and the next day. So that means a solid week of tanning leading up to my trip.

I'll admit it: I think I'm becoming tanorexic.

It's not like I'm burning, or even deeply tanning my skin, but I know the beginning of an addiction when I see one. Remember the blondorexia that set in during the mid 2000s?

(To be fair, it was a family affair. Every single one of my siblings fell victim at the same time. I'll spare you the dreadful family photos from that era.)

It's a classic case. I keep telling myself "just until after the trip," or "I can quit whenever I want," but I know the truth. And it's not my fault: tanning is FREE at my gym! So how could I ever hope to resist the siren song of the tanning booths every time I go in to work on my fitness? My two favorite things: narcissism and a deal!!!

I'll keep you updated, but it's not looking good. If this gets really bad I could end up on Intervention! Hmmmm, maybe superficial reality show "fame" might just be the thing to keep me from falling deeper into addiction. We'll just have to wait and see....

Thar She Blows!

In case you've just woken up from a year-long coma, Kim Kardashian isn't swelling up due to an allergic reaction to eyelash glue- she is indeed pregnant, and the proud papa is none other than Kanye West.  And while everyone has difficulty dressing for pregnancy, Kim is making it look downright painful. For some reason she seems unable to just accept the fact that for the next few months her body won't behave the ways she is used to. Because it's making a baby. 

Take, for instance, this Shamu-inspired ensemble:

"I thought black was supposed to be slimming?"

Or this all-white number- which actually does distract from her growing body, by making us wonder what's going on with that weird jacket. 

Eww and that stringy hair!

Here's a few more looks that are certainly not flattering to her pregnancy bod:

That peplum on the gray pants is especially disconcerting!

And I don't know what to say about this, it looks like Kim and Kayne used the remains of that first dress to create these outfits, which are so matchy-matchy I can't even stand it. And menswear for maternity? When you are supposed to be celebrating your feminine baby-making ability?  I feel like Kim is nailing androgynous a little too well, and looks like a really passable ladyboy Kayne found in Thailand.

Not that ladyboy is a bad look, it's just a weird choice for a pregnant woman.

Oh, and we've already christened the baby "Kimye." 'Nuff said.

HE'S.....SO......FLUFFY!!!!!!

Yesterday concluded the annual Westminster Dog Show in New York City! (I thought it was in England?) Anyhow, I was running on the treadmill at the gym this morning and couldn't take my eyes off the fluffy monsters in the toy competition.  They're so fluffy I'm gonna die!!!!

This was the Toy Breeds winner (?) It's an Affenpinscher (huh? looks like a baby monkey)

Banana Joe V Tani Kazari

These are the rest of the doggies that were making me squeal in delight and make a fool of myself in public.  As you can see, I love the long hair breeds! (obvi.) And their names are hilarious too! Wheeeeeeee!

Malibu Dream

Wei-Syng Lucky Mi

Pawsitively Pawparazzi

The King of Pop

Angel Wings at Dulcinea

Love T'Look

Valentino

Butters Scotch

Surviving Siberia

In case you haven't noticed, it's hella cold and snowy outside. Allright, it's not really that bad, (today) and the snow is kind of pretty, but still:



It's winter.



And if Beyonce can't even sing live because of the cold, I'm quickly realizing that I'll have to adjust my hair- and skin-care regimens to survive the chilling season that is winter in Chicago requires.

The main difference between summer and winter (besides up to 100 degrees) is moisture. In the winter your skin and hair are naturally drier, and lose even more moisture to the dry, cold air.

First for hair: Argan oil is a great source of moisture, and it is easily absorbed into the hair shaft. I love Moroccan Oil Intense Hydrating Mask. Used weekly as a deep conditioner for 20 minutes up to overnight it helps keep hair from drying up and looking sad in the winter,



Now for skin: Hands especially need moisture in the winter.  L'occitane 20% Shea Butter hand cream is a rich and creamy hand lotion that moisturizes and protects hands from additional moisture loss.



For lips (and noses!) I love Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm all day long! It is tint and fragrance free and instantly helps with dry, chapped lips.



During the day I like Proactiv Repairing Treatment. (yes, I'm coming out of the Proactiv closet. I've used it for 10 years and I LOVE it!)  This daily face lotion is non-comedogenic, (doesn't clog pores) moisturizes, and protects facial skin.



At night I can use a facial lotion that is a little lighter, since I'm not going outside. (and to give my skin a break from other heavier lotions) I've been using Trader Joe's Oil-Free Antioxidant Facial Moisturizer. It feels light and fresh, has tons of vitamins for your skin, and costs $7! Can't beat that!!!



There you go, hopefully these tips will help you get through winter, and since Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow yesterday morning we can look forward to an early spring this year! Stay warm! (and moisturized)