Thar She Blows!

In case you've just woken up from a year-long coma, Kim Kardashian isn't swelling up due to an allergic reaction to eyelash glue- she is indeed pregnant, and the proud papa is none other than Kanye West.  And while everyone has difficulty dressing for pregnancy, Kim is making it look downright painful. For some reason she seems unable to just accept the fact that for the next few months her body won't behave the ways she is used to. Because it's making a baby. 

Take, for instance, this Shamu-inspired ensemble:

"I thought black was supposed to be slimming?"

Or this all-white number- which actually does distract from her growing body, by making us wonder what's going on with that weird jacket. 

Eww and that stringy hair!

Here's a few more looks that are certainly not flattering to her pregnancy bod:

That peplum on the gray pants is especially disconcerting!

And I don't know what to say about this, it looks like Kim and Kayne used the remains of that first dress to create these outfits, which are so matchy-matchy I can't even stand it. And menswear for maternity? When you are supposed to be celebrating your feminine baby-making ability?  I feel like Kim is nailing androgynous a little too well, and looks like a really passable ladyboy Kayne found in Thailand.

Not that ladyboy is a bad look, it's just a weird choice for a pregnant woman.

Oh, and we've already christened the baby "Kimye." 'Nuff said.