Ok ya'all.... T-Minus 1 Week and counting until the official kickoff of the 2012 holiday season!
Is it just me or it Thanksgiving coming REALLY early this year?!? You know what's going on here: 1 extra week for CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!! I love that on the news they're already giving tips to shoppers how to not get trampled to death on Black Friday.
And another thing: why is it that only budget retailers like Walmart and Best Buy go crazy discounting the day after Thanksgiving? What if high-end stores like Gucci and Louis Vuitton slashed prices early in the morning on Black Friday? Could you imagine the bloodbath as hundreds of Real Housewives battle it out for that last half-off pair of Jimmy Choos?
As for me, I'm planning on sleeping off the last of my food coma that morning, rising around noon and decking the halls on my little 4.5 foot artificial Xmas tree, and then maybe polishing off the last of the Thanksgiving food, pie, and booze.
Because by then there'll be only 4 more shopping weeks until Christmas. (shudder)
If you don't already know that tomorrow is Election Day, then you probably shouldn't bother coming out from under the rock you've been hiding for the past year or so to vote. (Oooooh, burn!)
Marack Obamney
But for those of us that have been paying attention, I'm sure the last thing you want to read is more complicated political propaganda telling you how Barack Obama is a disaster who can't create even one measly job in four years, or how Mitt Romney is a pathological liar and a meanie at debates. So here is the fluffiest, most superficial comparison of the candidates: Hair Obama has been going noticeably grayer during his presidency, but his hairstyle is still pretty basic. I appreciate Romney's subtle gray blending, but his conservative newscaster cut isn't really doing much for him. If I have to pick: Romney. 0-1 Fashion While their formal attire is virtually identical, ("Look! My tie's red!" "Yeah, well mine is blue!") Obama and Romney have strikingly different interpretations of casualwear. Mitt's awkwardly fitting plaid shirt paired with khakis (eww) don't help him out versus Barack's tailored yet carelessly-rolled up white oxford. Point: Obama. 1-1 Wife's Hair Both Michelle Obama and Ann Romney wear pretty conservative styles, but Michelle's sweeping bang is a little more modern than Ann's flippy number. And remember the early days of the 2008 campaign, when Michelle's hair was a little, shall we say, rough around the edges? She's come a long way, I think probably due to adding a Brazilian Blowout/Keratin treatment to her previous relaxer regimen. Slight advantage to Obama. 2-1 Wife's Fashion
Both Michelle and Ann are well-dressed ladies, but while Ann favors more conservative designs, Michelle is know for dressing more modern and edgy. While I applaud her bold choices, it appears some of America doesn't appreciate her daring fashion sense. (Exposed arms? Eek!) But Michelle has also used her spotlight to bring attention to previously less-known designers, like Jason Wu. So she's creating jobs? Hmmmmm. 3-1 Celebrity Supporters
Obama supporters include Katy Perry, will.i.am, Eva Longoria, Oprah, Will Smith, George Clooney, Scarlett Johansson, Selena Gomez, Tom Hanks, Zooey Deschanel, Demi Moore, Leonard Nimoy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Reese Witherspoon, Beyonce and Jay-Z. Romney supporters include Jon Voight, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Jeff Foxworthy, Donald Trump, Kelsey Grammer, Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Selleck, Gary Sinese, James Woods, Erik Estrada, Lorenzo Lamas, and Meatloaf. (see video above) Oh yeah, and Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer. Maybe it's just me, but one of those lists seems a lot more socially relevant and representative of more Americans than the other. And that Meatloaf video really sucked. 4-1 OBAMA WINS! This concludes my super-scientific analysis of the election. And I'm not biased at all. See you tomorrow at the voting booths!!!
Whew! I survived another Halloween-
or as I like to call it, Gay Christmas. It's the time of the year where kids
and adults get to dress up, deck out the house with spooky decor, and eat candy
(or drink) until they puke. But gay guys especially go all out for Halloween.
In LA the West Hollywood Halloween parade is one of the biggest events of the
year, overshadowing even Gay Pride. (gasp!) Last year over 350,000 people came
into town to see (or gawk) at the outlandish costumes. While most guys use this
holiday as an opportunity to expose as much skin as possible, there are also
the requisite sexy drag queens, political costumes, and creepy creatures.
Speaking of creepy creatures, how
about this unicorn?
Just kidding, it's my favorite celebrity muse- Child Bride
Courtney Stodden!
Here is the creepy unicorn:
And speaking of creepy, here are gay Batman and Robin doing
it:
Like I said, "costumes" that leave as little to
the imagination as possible.
But my favorite costume from this year's parade is the
"ruined Jesus fresco."
Now for some celebrity crap:
Kim "the Antichrist" Kardashian briefly considered
a leopard costume that shows off her talents; I'm sure the back is also sheer
like Prince's booty-less jeans!
But she ended up playing it safe and going for a predictable
couple's costume with beau Kanye West. Boo.
But the grand winner (in my opinion) for celebrity Halloween
costumes is
-and it kills me to say this-
Katy Perry. I absolutely LURVE her Daria and Jane Lane
costumes!
And if you don't remember this amazing MTV cartoon from the
90s look it up now on YouTube or Hulu or whatever! Here, I'll do it for you.
Now for the overall classiest celebrity costume, from one of
the classiest celebs there is: Chris Brown and friends as Arabs with guns-
"terrorists," I would imagine. Nicely done.
With the exceptions of Jesus and Katy Perry, it seems that
if you're not spooky for Halloween you have to be slutty, naked, or offensive.
And while I like an off-color joke as much as the next guy, the last thing I
want to see on Halloween night is Chris Brown with a beard and gun. I can't
believe people buy this guy's music, let alone give him awards!
