Monday, November 5, 2012

Election Day!!!

If you don't already know that tomorrow is Election Day, then you probably shouldn't bother coming out from under the rock you've been hiding for the past year or so to vote. (Oooooh, burn!)

Marack Obamney


But for those of us that have been paying attention, I'm sure the last thing you want to read is more complicated political propaganda telling you how Barack Obama is a disaster who can't create even one measly job in four years, or how Mitt Romney is a pathological liar and a meanie at debates.

So here is the fluffiest, most superficial comparison of the candidates:

Hair

        

Obama has been going noticeably grayer during his presidency, but his hairstyle is still pretty basic. I appreciate Romney's subtle gray blending, but his conservative newscaster cut isn't really doing much for him. If I have to pick: Romney.

0-1 

Fashion

                                          

While their formal attire is virtually identical, ("Look! My tie's red!" "Yeah, well mine is blue!") Obama and Romney have strikingly different interpretations of casualwear.  Mitt's awkwardly fitting plaid shirt paired with khakis (eww) don't help him out versus Barack's tailored yet carelessly-rolled up white oxford. Point: Obama.

         

1-1

Wife's Hair

        

Both Michelle Obama and Ann Romney wear pretty conservative styles, but Michelle's sweeping bang is a little more modern than Ann's flippy number. And remember the early days of the 2008 campaign, when Michelle's hair was a little, shall we say, rough around the edges? She's come a long way, I think probably due to adding a Brazilian Blowout/Keratin treatment to her previous relaxer regimen. Slight advantage to Obama.

2-1

Wife's Fashion

Ann Romney and First Lady Michelle Obama


Both Michelle and Ann are well-dressed ladies, but while Ann favors more conservative designs, Michelle is know for dressing more modern and edgy. While I applaud her bold choices, it appears some of America doesn't appreciate her daring fashion sense. (Exposed arms? Eek!) But Michelle has also used her spotlight to bring attention to previously less-known designers, like Jason Wu. So she's creating jobs? Hmmmmm.

3-1

Celebrity Supporters

   





Obama supporters include Katy Perry, will.i.am, Eva Longoria, Oprah, Will Smith, George Clooney, Scarlett Johansson, Selena Gomez, Tom Hanks, Zooey Deschanel, Demi Moore, Leonard Nimoy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Reese Witherspoon, Beyonce and Jay-Z.

Romney supporters include Jon Voight, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Jeff Foxworthy, Donald Trump, Kelsey Grammer, Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Selleck, Gary Sinese, James Woods, Erik Estrada, Lorenzo Lamas, and Meatloaf. (see video above) Oh yeah, and Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer.

Maybe it's just me, but one of those lists seems a lot more socially relevant and representative of more Americans than the other. And that Meatloaf video really sucked.

4-1 OBAMA WINS!

This concludes my super-scientific analysis of the election. And I'm not biased at all. See you tomorrow at the voting booths!!!

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