The Moment We've All Been Waiting For....

It's happened. It's finally happened.  The progeny from Hades, the fifth horseman of the Apocalypse has arrived... and it's name is North.  North West.  Get it?

I'm sure this baby is adorable, and it's not her fault that she's being born into the most extravagant, publicized family that money can buy.  But I really want to talk about is KIM"S POST-BABY BODY!!!!!!

Apparently she has lots of time for swimming in the pool.  Right, moms?

Kim has claimed that she has lost 50 pounds in 40 days, thanks to a strict 1,200 calorie a day diet and three hours of exercise every day.  But is this really possible?  Let's crunch the numbers:

There are 3,500 calories in a pound, this means Kim has to consume 175,000 fewer calories than she burns off. Well, let's say she only has to lose 30 pounds, since about 20 pounds of the weight gain were baby and assorted baby acoutrements.  So 30 pounds = 105,000 calorie deficit.

If she indeed stuck to her 1,200 calories a day, Kim consumed 48,000 calories in the past 40 days.  Each day she burned approximately 1,580 calories doing nothing, but add in the three hours of exercise, at approximately 400 calories an hour, and she burned 2,780 calories per day.  Grand total over 40 days: 112,000 calories.

So 48,000-112,000=64,000, or 18.29 pounds.  Could her ramped-up metabolism due to breast-feeding and baby care make up for the additional 11.71 pounds? Or maybe a quick tummy-tuck snuck in at the hospital?

Who cares? At any rate I just wonder what will become of little baby North West? Who will step up and take responsibility for this tiny bundle of joy?  Kim?  Kanye?  Kris???  God help her.

At least she'll never get lost.

Get it?  North?  West?

Ugh.